|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
|  | | |
| 
It's been almost two weeks since Zhiling left for the states(21st August).The first two days were brutal...as she was on a flight and was uncontactable...i could only send my thoughts and wishes to the stars hoping that feelings can fly through the air and go fast enough to chase after a jet. When she finally got there and had the opportunity to call me i missed the call, cause I was in the cinema...and when i got news from her dad she called...I run out as fast of the cinema to call her back.Unfortunately, all I got was an answering machine as she was already in part of her orientation programme.
Honestly i have to say I miss the hugs, cuddles and kisses...but the relationship is going well. We exchange daily reports on email and lots of IDD phonecalls and have so many photos that physical touch is the only depreviation and if I can't live without that maybe I am just plain old 'ham-sup'(horny). But in short, I am happy as it seems like absence makes the heart grow fonder applies for us rather than 'Out of sight...out of mind'
Some of my friends say that long distance is hard...and if can go through...sure married one...well...errmmm....hmmm.... :)
Zhiling and I had a wonderful year together...in fact she left exactly a year after we first met.We were a couple after three months. Yes, many say the first year of a relationship is the sweetest...as the honey coated moon ferments and sours after that but honestly I really feel me and zhiling can be very happy together...we do have our misunderstandings which we call our 'knock head' moments but generally we do yearn for one another.
On my dates with zhi...I honestly rediscovered my childhood as she gave me a homelife...something missing in my relocation to KL city in persuit of my career.
With her, I have swept floors with panache, wash dishes with glee(dear...no this doesn't mean i wash all the dishes or sweep floors after we marry) eaten dinner with her family while watching her dad and grandma bicker on whether the soup is salty enough, walked a stubborn goat, brought a fussy cat to the vet, cycled around her neighbourhood picking wild berries, jungle trek in the rain and an assortment of genuine fun.
On my vacation with zhi, in barely a year we've covered kinabalu, redang, mallaca,ipoh and kuching, sarawak. We do alot of silly stuff on our travels.In redang we walked half way round the island at night and slept over at a beach chair at some other hotel before coming back in the morning...boy, were the hotel attendants at the place where we staying pissed...they thought we had died when our friends informed them that we never got back from our walk...in pedas,sabah...we realised that water rafting was not as fun as capsizing into the rapid and bodysurfing downstream...so while our mates stayed on the raft, we both fly off at any opportuinity...plop into the water together...experience a moment of darkness and sheer disorientation before finding one another's hand in the water...holding one another and re-emerging with a huge huge smile on our respective faces...in ipoh we got another reluctant to get wet couple(our friend and tour guides) into the water sat together in a waterfall just holding one another...
One tyre puncture, once out of petrol.Yup me and zhi were stranded by highway twice...and you know what...crazilly enough it was laughter all the way...at ourselves...at how silly we are...even though the puncture resulted in a missed flight.
No, we were not rich and many a times we travelled counting our budget...but it's the little stuff that were wonderful.Take cinema going for instance...we realise that it's much more fun to be both sharing warmth under a single sweater rather than wearing one each...so we thought why not bring a blanket to the cinema? And so we did...everytime.the ticket cost the same...but it was nice to hold her hands and rest our heads under a blanket and a movie.
Zhiling cannot be more attractive in the morning with a cranky'why do i have to wake up?' face, puss in her eyes, hair all tangled and with a sniff, a scent of sourish sweat .. but seriously...I almost don't want her to wash it off. Not that my fettish is unkept unwashed just awoke girl but it's nice to have someone so how you'd say...special in an ordinary way...but no...we don't sleep together...zhilling has her 'tight conservative code of i am cina and cannot until marry'. So it's on the floor for me or in her brother's room. But I do get a reward for sleeping on the floor...very early in the mornings i ussually get invited to hug her tightly, share kisses, sniff her hair and sometimes just lay together in a light sleep cuddling for an hour to two before we awake to greet the day. It was sheer bliss...but once...her dad walked in to wake her and i was like errmmmm....errmm...in a spoon position with her.No we're not naked...but I was still so afraid..I lay completely still pretending to be dead asleep...nothing happened.phew! :)
Zhi also needs lotsa coaxing before kisses but once entice...she'll kiss.Telling this to a friend...who sleeps over at her bf regularly she says...eh, all these are suppossed to be highschool fun and discoverieslah...I beg to differ...it's alot of fun as it is at my age...
But yeah...beside a recent rough patch...this pixie is very special to me and i do believe that the long distance will do us great. We have alot to catch up when she get back which will give us many stories to share...we will also also have time to grow without distraction from one another so that we can in turn enrich each other upon being reunited...
The last night I spent with her at her house...helping her tidy up her computer files...then her bedroom clutter...hurry I'd say as it's already two and her flight is at seven am. Please give me more time to sort she says saying that she's going through clearing what's really sentimental to her more reminiscing than sorting.
Yup, we have alot between us to reminice about too... we walked round and round the airport together like silly trying to dry tears after our 'goodbye, see you in two years'... before walking back to her parents...and so it came time...the last i saw of pixie was her waving at me from the passport checkpoint...
Well...I'll see her in two years tops...or maybe sooner if I can save enough to fly there for a holiday...now i am just hoping that no blonde guy with a thing for pixies comes near my pixie...
Yesterday...I couldn't reach her by email or phone...her area was hit by the tail end of a hurricane hitting the east side of the US...and sometimes ya...it's hard when you want to reach someone you care about for your own slefish needy reason when she's abroad...so all i can do is send my heart...
Dear...I love you. | | |
| 
Last last week. Zhiling and I broke up. But what caused the breakup?
She said on breaking up with me she’ll always love me….which confused
me more…so why the breakup?
We were compatible and had no
personal problems, we enjoyed each other tremendously whether on
holiday trips, house chores like cooking, on email or doing her
homework together…the situation was I have an ex-girlfriend who is
quite helpless at times and me being quite the soft hearted person, I
never hesitated to help her. Pixie was generous and was okay with me
helping her as a friend, but my ex was jealous and mean to pixie so
pixie often felt hurt (for those of you who know my ex, please help her
and be a friend to her). That aside, I was putting God aside in part of
my life thinking I’ll get religion back after I’ve worked out my
career. Pixie always told me these things are hurting me and
disappointing her…I was just so preoccupied by life and work that I
didn’t heed her advice to improve myself and the position I am in
thinking I’ll do it someday…So she decided to break up with me with the
hope of me seeing my flaws.
When our relationship was all
gone, I went through all our pictures, emails and was just swept by how
important she is to me. I was in pain as I loved her so and having to
put away all our stuff as we are no longer together brought more than a
tear to my eye. How could I have hurt someone I love so much…
unknowingly by not doing simple pleasing things that actually better
myself and keep her. Why didn’t I notice these things until I lost her?
I guess its part and parcel of forgetting what’s closest to you…
I
asked her lets not end the relationship on a sour note as ours but give
me one more outing with her and end it on a sweet note….at first she
was reluctant and said only if one of her friend come along so I said,
honestly I want to have you back…but if I can’t, I’ll really withdraw.
She agreed….I examined myself closely and made notes to change...I
painfully compiled a scrapbook of all the pictures we took together
realising even more how much I do want her; I cut my hair, bought
flowers and a parting gift for her. Then, I went over to her place
early in the morning and helped myself into her house as her sister was
on her way out of the gate to school and made her way to her room. I
awoke her like I always do by gently combing her hair…and then I gave
her the flowers…she smiled…I then grabbed her hand and put it on my
hair…she smiled bewilderedly…I sat on the floor next to her bad and we
talked for hours...as she looked through the little scrapbook…in the
end of the book I asked if she’d be my girlfriend…because the first
time she asked me and claimed it wasn’t official till I asked…I never
did ask so we couldn’t have broken up…so…zhi will you have my hand to
have, to hold and to love…my heart was beating furiously…she said yes…
I
am wrong….but I am glad, I was able to get what meant a lot to me
back…. That afternoon,we were dating in the most romantic place in
K.L., JPJ headquarters Wangsa Maju, as pixie had to make her
international driving license...I am smilling silly…she is too…she said
she is glad that I realized…and that she never stopped loving me…I
guess the lesson is sometimes we should not take what we have for
granted…especially love and always do our best for our love and
emphasize it in our lives as much as or more so than what many of us
choose to emphasize on; money and career…
Pixie is still
leaving for the states…and in a week I’ll still lose her…physically she
won’t be next to me for the next two years…but I’ll have her
comfortingly at heart and I think for that, I am already blessed.She is
seating infront of me right now...she hasn't bath or change clothes
since she awoke and she has just spent quite awhile in the kitchen
preparing lunch...she smells...very nice...
Thanks to Sze Hui and everyone who gave an ear and a shoulder... | | |
| 
linus .. linus .... i'm feeling rather calm with a fuzzy feeling inside me... asking myself am i crazy or not crazy? but i'm gonna trust my heart... and it says u're someone very special to me..zhiling 9th november 2005
On 9th November last year...a beautiful pixie fell in love with a very lucky froggie and they became a couple.Froggie is very sad to say that Pixie has left froggie on the night of August 3rd 2006 ending our relationship....Froggie was very sad the whole of today and did what any grown man would do....pour over old pictures of himself and pixie, hug a pillow and cry. A frog's gotta do what a frog's gotta do.
Froggie may try to appear funny but froggie is very sad.Henceforth, the shoot of froggie's next short film slated for next week will be push back three weeks...froggie is in no position to shoot a love story for the next couple of days.Tears corrodes celluloid.
On August 8th 2006, Froggie went to pixie's friend's place in cameron tower supposedly to fetch zhiling home...then pixie sat froggie down and said she's decided...pixie then sent froggie home...sad froggie walked in the cold rain from taman tun to cameron towers in gasing with the hopes that this crazy deed will win pixie's heart again because froggie and pixie always do crazy things......upon arriving at 5am, froggie has to sit outside for two hours in the cold waiting...for pixie to wake up...pixie didn't care to see froggie...pixie's friend tried to send froggie off with a security guard...froggie says please...I love pixie...just give froggie one more chance to see and talk...if she asks me to go I will. Pixie asked froggie to go. Head held low...froggie left...his world in shambles.
Froggie is very sad...and is trying very hard to win pixie back...but pixie wouldn't return froggie's call,sms or emails...even when froggie showed up infront of pixie's house, froggie only got to talk with pixie's dad...not pixie.Pixie first saw froggie at starlight cinema...it is very sad that froggie wouldn't get to go with her this year...
Next day froggie receive this email...
I'm truly sorry that i have to do this. but it do not nessasary means an end to our relationship. please understand that the time for an 'us' is not now.zhilling
Froggie did nothing wrong,neither did pixie.... it was just a situation that's too long to explain... it came as a shock...
Dear zhiling...
I love you...I thought we are stronger than this...you said to me at the start that "I only date if it leads to marriage" I immediately said okay and promised you that I am committed to see this through...even through long distance as you will be going to the states...and now...you walked away...I am sad but I wish you every happiness....you did say hopefully one day we will be again...well hopefully...but for now I am heartbroken and sad...Dear,talk to me....you always said one of us must always save the relationship when the other breaks...I am trying dear...
...it was a wonderful journey and I hope that I have brought you the joy and happiness you've brought me...I'll miss you...
I wish you a good trip to the USA dear…go with God’s blessing and come home safe and always be happy cause that’s how you’ll always be remembered in my heart…hopefully not for the last time dear…I love you…thank you for everything…
Dear...I will not call to disturb you...but am still here sobbing...please call me if you change your mind... i am praying
Linus | | |
| 
My beautiful darling chia zhiling...how she melts my heart with her smile....awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....... | | |
|
